sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
