my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
