I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
