She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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