Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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