i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
