dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
