oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
