a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
do herpes really smell.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My vagina is officially offended.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
