It's like God shit irony all over that family
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
