I cut my penus on the lid.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
