hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
