soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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