i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
