You can't motorboat a personality
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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