Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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