even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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