I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
