I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
