oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
