i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
