you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
