well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
