dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
