Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
only if we run a train.
done.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You made out with two different species that night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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