Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
