It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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