ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
