when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
