bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
