this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
