Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
