Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
