Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
