Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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