Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
