the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't deserve a penis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
