this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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