He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
