I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
