I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
