I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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