I have demons in me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fill condoms, not promises.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
