Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
