I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
