I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Vodka?
Forever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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