The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
