i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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