Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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