everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
